The loss of a close family member is a life-altering event. While everyone mourns differently, grief places people in a vulnerable state and can lead them down many different paths. Some cope by seeing a therapist or talking to loved ones. Others may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or substance use, in an attempt to numb their pain. After the loss of her brother, addiction was Dr. Sally Broder’s reality.

After twenty-five years of sobriety, I’ve learned that recovery isn’t a finish line — it’s a way of living. My story took place in suburban New Jersey and the gay party scene of New York City, but the disease of alcoholism doesn’t care about zip codes. It strikes people in every small town, city, and countryside. Addiction knows no borders.

Growing up, my dad was the alcoholic in our house, and my mom was what we in recovery call an “untreated Al-Anonic.” My first drink was with neighborhood kids and on church youth group trips to Puerto Rico to help nuns. From there, it escalated — parties, bars, and eventually, the late ’80s and ’90s gay nightlife in New York City. At first, it was all fun. Then it was fun with problems. Then it was just problems.

I was 17 years old, living in a small rural town outside of Buffalo, NY. Things had changed so much in the past few years … I was a happy child. I spent most of my time climbing trees, catching nightcrawlers for fishing, and making maps of the surrounding woods. When I hit my later teenage years, there was a shift. I was melancholy more days than not with a quick temper. At 16, I met my first real boyfriend and started hanging out with his friends in another small town called Bliss. It was anything but.

 It was there that I started using drugs and alcohol. Most of the time it was just a weekend thing. I didn’t think it was a problem. I was having fun. All my friends were doing it. Most parents knew what was going on and were “okay” with it because at least they knew where we were. 

Addiction is a growing health issue that can affect individuals in every corner of America, regardless of their age, gender, race or financial status. However, rural Americans face more challenges in combatting addiction to alcohol and drugs compared to their urban counterparts due to a lack of adequate resources for prevention, treatment and recovery.