Talking About Suicide & Mental HealtH

Your words matter — they can either build someone up or push them down. In small towns and rural communities, it can feel hard to talk about mental health. Sometimes it seems like everyone knows everyone else’s business, or like you have to “tough it out” and keep quiet.

But here’s the truth: Mental health struggles are real, and you don’t have to face them alone.

The way we talk about these topics can make a big difference. This guide will help you:

  • Use words that are respectful and kind when talking about suicide or mental health.

  • Start conversations with friends, family, or others who might be struggling.

  • Know what to do if someone is in crisis.

Choosing Words That Help, Not Hurt

The words we use have power. They can show compassion — or they can make someone feel judged or ashamed. Here are some simple ways to talk about suicide and mental health in a caring way.

1. Talk About Suicide With Care

  • Don’t call a suicide attempt “successful” or “failed.” Suicide is never a success. If someone tried to take their life, say “they had a suicide attempt” or “they survived a suicide attempt.”

  • Use gentle words. Instead of saying someone “killed themself,” say they “died by suicide.” It’s less harsh and more compassionate.

2. Be Respectful About Mental Health

  • Avoid hurtful labels like “crazy” or “psycho.” Those words can be deeply painful to someone who’s struggling.

  • Put the person first. Say “a person living with anxiety” instead of “an anxious person.”

  • Be specific when you can. Instead of just saying “mental illness,” you might say “depression,” “anxiety,” or whatever the person is going through.

How to Start Tough Conversations

Talking about feelings — yours or someone else’s — can feel awkward, especially if you’re worried about how they’ll react. But starting the conversation could save a life.

Here are some ways to gently open the door – from the JED Foundation: 

  • "I know it’s a stressful time right now with [final exams, college applications, sports tryouts, etc.]. Can you tell me how that’s been affecting you?"

  • "What are the highs and lows in your world lately?"

  • "What was the good, the bad, and the ‘meh’ of today?"

  • "I’ve noticed you’ve been more stressed about school recently, especially when studying for [biology, trigonometry, etc.]. Can you tell me more about that?" 

  • "I don’t think you’ve hung out with [friend’s name] in a while. You used to spend time together every week. How have things been between the two of you?"

  • "I noticed you’ve been pretty tired lately. What’s making it hard to sleep?"

Listen, validate, and treat them as the expert of their own experience.

If You Live in a Small Town or Rural Area

We know it can feel extra hard to talk about mental health when you live in a smaller community.

Privacy can be a concern.
You might worry about other people finding out — and that’s understandable. Remember, there are ways to get help privately, like calling or texting hotlines.

There may be fewer mental health providers nearby.
That’s why hotlines, virtual therapy, and online support groups are so important.

You don’t have to “tough it out.”
Just like you’d see a doctor if you broke your arm, it’s okay to get help for your mind and emotions, too.

If a Friend Is Struggling

If someone you care about is talking about suicide or seems really down:

  1. Stay calm and listen. Don’t interrupt or judge.

  2. Take them seriously. Even if they seem unsure, treat their words as important.

  3. Help them connect to support.

    • Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

    • If they’re in danger, stay with them and get help from a trusted adult or call 911.

  4. Follow up later. Check back in and remind them you care.

Resources

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 anytime, day or night.

  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a counselor.

  • Seize the Awkward: https://seizetheawkward.org

Remember This

You are not alone, and neither are your friends. Talking openly about mental health and suicide doesn’t make things worse — it creates hope and connection. By choosing kind words and starting brave conversations, you can help someone feel seen, heard, and supported.

Return to Rural Youth Mental Wellness “Resources By Topic” webpage.